Standing in front of Allah

Here I am standing, standing before Allah.

Neglectful and careless. Yes. This is my Salah.

Supposedly praying. A force of habit? A pretence?

Definitely not offering my best – A lack of reverence?

‘- here is what I’m giving Lord – take it or leave it

Well, that is my offering. Keep it - or trash it.’

Where is the sincerity His worship requires?

Where is the obedience His loyalty inspires?

A wandering mind, occupied in sinful thoughts,

Of anger and vengeance, and befitting retorts,

Of daily chores and material mires,

Of rampant jealousies and worldly desires.

‘Stop it!’ my conscience screams, ‘It’s Allah you’re facing!

Where are you lost? What devils are you chasing?’

It’s no use. The love of the world in control.

I’m lost and I’m drowning in misery untold.

I shake myself out of the trance I’m in.

I promise I’ll be serious – but again it begins.....

Oh Allah, my Benevolent Lord, my Creator,

These are the disgraceful returns I offer,

For the countless indulgences you shower every day,

For the deserved punishments you keep at bay.

I am not worthy my Lord, to walk on Your earth

To eat or to drink or to breathe just one breath.

I deserve to be chastised, denied every right,

Castigated for unfairness, rebuked for the slight.

You’ve kept Your promise – You are closer to me;

Closer than life itself – as You promised You’d be.

I’d promised You sincere obedience. And now:

I’m the one – it is I who has broken the vow.

I have cheated my Lord – haven’t given You Your due

I’ve no excuses – just the one simple truth – I LOVE YOU.

For lowly and mean as I am without doubt

My love for You is what keeps inner darkness out.

My trust is implicit – My life’s Your concern

To make my decisions – to do as You want.

My faith in Your Unity unquestioned and strong,

So punish me as You will – for each and every wrong.

I will bear every suffering, every crack of the whip,

But distance from You is the greatest hardship.

So Allah please, listen to just one ardent prayer

- keep me near You – Always.

Oh Guide of lost souls! Never, never let me stray.