'Testing' Times

I am doing my test – second time round –
– because I failed the last time.
I am not prepared – I might fail again.
At my time in life that is a frightening prospect – I might fail.

I am tired. I like my comfort zone – the fixed and familiar.
And now – I must stir the coals, rekindle old fires,
Probe and prod my memories
archived in the corners of my brain.
O the pain of reliving past failures.
All in the name of Research.
It’s preparation – I’m doing a test.

Why me? Why now?
Just when I had found my niche; feathered it
It’s exam time once more.

My friend says: tests bring with them rich experiences
– struggle and anguish are befitting teachers, she says.
She says I’ll survive – but will I pass?
There lies the root of my agony.