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Monday, 1 April 2013

29th March 2013


On the flight to Baghdad
A sleepless night – the beginning of my journey. Last minute ‘pre-flight checks’ – ensure every last item has been packed. The issue with the nail cutter – Mo had to trim his nails that very evening – and magic! the nail cutter disappeared. I know now, that will be the thing I will need desperately – not the multitude of other items I did manage to pack – I will end up not needing them at all. The nail cutter though will be thoroughly missed. L
Sana, Akbar & Ailia came to the Airport – nice. Mo left early ‘cause he wasn’t too well. He had been coughing and sneezing since he reached London earlier in the evening. And the car was heating up – mo wanted to take his time on the way back. He wanted to leave – said khudahafiz to him outside the Airport.
The heating in the Airport lounges was a welcome relief as the doors closed behind us and we walked towards the check-in counters. It was going to be a packed flight – the aisles were full of travellers - quite a few hijabis – on their way to one of the many places of religious significance.
This is the peculiar things about Muslims: every holiday - travel, they must. Destination – you ask? Well, their goal and purpose is one and one alone: their connection with the Almighty. Every holiday therefore is spent in one of the holy lands where they are intent on the ‘purification of their soul’. Pouring in their pounds into the travel industry – they travel to destinations that are fixed and with a fixation. Mecca and Medina, Karbala, Najaf and Mash-had – they inundate these cities in their millions. And not just once or twice – a dozen times if they can.
Today I am one of them – seeking solace. Destination Karbala. Destination Najaf. Agenda a meeting with Imam Ali. A meeting with Imam Hussain. An oath. A promise. To the Imam of our time – Imam Mehdi (ajtf). I hope, like the millions – that I return more patient, more pious, more penitent: purified.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

On turning 24



It’s time again to sing once more
The happy birthday song!
To sing the old year out the door
O new year - come along!

It was today two score and four
Years down the mem’ry lane
A little girl that I adore
Into my heart walked in.

As time flew by and I grew old
She?  Oh she grew young!
With eyes that laughed and lips that sang
A song she first time sung!

It was the merry tune of life
Set to the beat of time
As nurs’ry days turned into school
Then uni days came by.

From toddler to a child she grew
Then on to teenage years
Into a woman she has turned
Beat all the odds and fears.

Now bold and strong all poised for flight
She stands with wings stretched wide
Eyes set on far and distant star
She’s chuz on to abide.

And I? I watch her preen with pride
I dare not even blink my eyes
I fear I might just miss the sight
Of when she takes into the skies.

O she must go, I know she must
It’s time’s decree: what must, must be
But I, ‘accustomed to her face’
Now find it hard to set her free.

Friday, 17 August 2012

Asif Bhai's Lament



Come summer my in-laws descend upon us
With baggage and bundles and rucksacks – no fuss.
Their spouses and daughters and sons – et all
Pour in regardless: the big and the small.
With smiles and sweet talk, appear cozy and warm
But strike like relentless waves in a storm

Chaos then reigns, things turn upside down
All rooms fill up with ear splitting sounds 
There's laughing and chatting in each nook and corner
That grows louder as the night grows, upon my honour.
A peaceful existence is the thing of the past 
I now have to contend with a scream and a blast.

Slippers lie strewn all over the floor 
Don't they know they should leave them right by the door?
I am the head of my household – there's no doubt about that
But my place at the table is taken by some cheeky brat!
In despair I turn to my sanctuary – my newspaper nook
Only to find a niece or a nephew engrossed in a book.

This year they've actually taken the cake 
My room has been snatched, at night I'm awake.
Here I lie flat and I stare at the ceiling 
Swallowing the rage and the anger I'm feeling 
I've been banished mercilessly from my very own door
Assigned no better place than the cold hard floor.

Afshan

Saturday, 14 January 2012

I am lonely now

My friend,
I am lonely now
Be sufficient for me
So I may never need.

I am lonely now
Occupy my heart
So it is never vacant.

I am lonely now
Be my friend
So I am never alone.

I am lonely now
I am hurting
Be the solace of my aching heart.

I am lonely now
All have turned away
Turn to me.

I am lonely now
My heart is grieving
Hear me cry.

I am lonely now
Drowning in the tumults of the ocean storm
Salvage me.

I am lonely now
Take over my life
Abide in me.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Eyes

Blind.
Eyes that look
but cannot see.
Blind.
Eyes that mock
Eyes that scorn
Eyes that disdain
Arrogant eyes
Eyes glazed -
outward looking
blinkered, blind eyes.
Eyes that do not see -
falsehood or honesty.
Lying eyes -
that mislead and confuse.
Eyes.

Oh Allah, give me eyes
that can see.

Rejuvenation

I want to declutter my life
clean up and clear out
the spaces
in my heart and mind
of faces and events
of loves and hates
of anger and frustration
of chaos and confusion.
I want to switch off the noise
reverberating inside my head.
Noise - that is drowning
the sound of music
I'm yearning to hear.
Then I shall be in sync -
beating to Your rhythm.

I want my solace from You
My advice from You
My joy from You
And My grief from You (in separation)
I want You to be my aim in life
You - my Journey
You - my Destination.
Only then will my life be worth having lived.

Ambitious??? Daring????
A sinner like me -
Twisted, corrupted,
and distorted ?
Yes. I dare to dream.

I am willing and ready
to be repaired and reconstructed.

Pain??? Suffering????
Yes again. After all, it’s my rejuvenation.

The Betrayal

I stand exposed
- in the public eye -
for everyone to see
and slander.
Betrayed.
I trusted the eyes
that looked at me -
and mistook hate
for anger.
I trusted the hand
that thrust
A knife in my gut -
As I'd trust
my own hand.

Perhaps, blood is not thick enough.